When I'm interested in something, I spend countless hours on the internet researching it. It took me a year of researching before I booked my Disney Cruise last February.  I'm a FIRM believer that knowledge is POWER. So when I was tossing the idea of joining a roller derby league around in my head, I researched and read many blogs, forums, web sites, etc about just that. In other words...I came into this with eyes wide open. Or so I thought.

It seems to me that one of the biggest challenges about roller derby is the joining of your passion (read derby) with your real life. It takes some pretty savy time management skills, commitment, sacrifice and multitasking in order to juggle both lives.  Between fitting in practices, committee meetings, off skate practicing and off skate bonding time with your derby sisters, there isn't much time left for being a wife, mother, professional, friend and well, person. As boot camp continues for me, I realize how important getting on my skates outside of practice is. The more time you're on them, the more comfortable you become. I compare this to a really nice pair of leather gloves. The more you wear them, the more then conform to you hands and become like a second skin. Then you lose the damn things and have to start all over again but that's another post.  When I mentioned to my husband that I wanted to try this "derby thing", I downplayed the intense time commitment (and at that time I really had no IDEA just how much time I needed for this) and pretty much assured him that this SuperWoman could do it.

I'm failing. My attempt at marrying my derby life and real life is not working.

Like many, many other derby skaters, I have a husband, children and work outside the home. My husband's hours are long and often include unplanned OT. I struggle at times with childcare (my kids are 10 and 7, no where NEAR able to be alone even for a short time.) and even with planned events where I think I'll be able to attend and then last minute husband is on OT and I'm left with the kids. I know that things will probably work out (from my lips to God's ears here people) but this interim of feeling of failure is bringing me down. There just isn't enough hours in the day, days in a week, weeks in a month for me to get a handle on this. My plan is to "Just Keep Swimming" and hope that things eventually fall into place in a somewhat organized and reasonable fashion. 

 I don't want to scare potential derby skaters away from the sport by posting entries like this but I do think it's helpful to:

a) know others are struggling with the same issues

b) be prepared for this issue in your own life. Remember that knowledge is power 

and

c) keep looking at that light at the end of the tunnel. It's there, it'll always be there even though it may be just a pinpoint of light.

I'm not gonna even THINK of the holiday season coming up and all the time sucking things that it brings.

Nope, ain't gonna do it.