I have actually never liked girls very much. In elementary school I was constantly teased for wearing mismatched clothes – which, as a side note, is really funny now, because I became a fashion designer.  In high school, I had a few friends, but never fit into any cliques. I think I have had maybe one “best friend” in my life, who totally just stopped talking to me for no reason after 3 years of being “BFF’s”, in high school no less (the most brutal of the years!) For most of my life until recently, I’ve just seen other women as blood sucking vultures. They look you up and down, judge you, make assumptions about you – all usually due majorly in part to their own shortcomings or insecurities. So in general I avoid women like the plague, unless they are drag queens. In the past year I’ve made some great friends, but I feel that I owe a lot of that to derby. I’m starting to stop hating women.

When I joined derby, I felt like I finally fit in somewhere. If someone gives you the old “female once over” it tends to be because they like your socks. Or want to know who did your tattoo. Never because they think you’re fat or your clothes are stupid. This is a new thing for me, and it’s changing my life. I’m still pretty shy, but I’m way less shy now than I used to be. If a girl tried to talk to me, I’d mutter something in agreement then shut down and think in my head, go away, all you want to do is put me down somehow.

Derby has given me confidence in a whole new way. We’re practicing whips now, and I feel amazing. I just want to be faster and faster and faster. None of this would exist without all of us. So this blog is just a weapy mushy thank you, to all of you wonderful ladies who show up and made this happen. It’s seriously changed my life.