My a$$ hurts.  In boot camp tradition, I have been put in my place.  I thought I was tough, strong, in shape and had kick-ass endurance.  At fresh meat Sunday, we rotated through stations (read “the six levels of hell” – god help me when we have to visit the other three). 

Station #1:  Endurance skating.  Three minutes of non-stop cross overs.  Preparation for the 25 laps in five minutes requirement for skills testing.  Feel the burn!

Station #2:  Breathe.  I’ve mastered this station.

Station #3:   I think I would rather ride my bike for three hours than do three minutes of burpees (http://www.rosstraining.com/articles/burpeeclip.htm)  on roller skates – these are hard enough to do in gym shoes, let alone with a 10 ton skate on each foot! 

Station #4:  The Abdominal Snow Angel.  Lay on the floor.  Hoist your “feel like Jell-O” legs in the air with 10 ton skates on feet.  Slowly lower your legs with a twist, but don’t let them touch the floor and don’t tenderize the fresh meat skater next to you. 

Station #5:  Deep squats.  I used the work out with an awesome trainer.  She made squat deep enough to tap my butt on the weight bench.  The day after, I would struggle to even sit on the toilet (picture a 9 months pregnant woman trying to sit down).  This station brought back fond memories of that torture.

Station #6:  The Hustle on roller skates.  Walk forward, walk back, walk side to side.  No rolling (wheels or eyes)

 My ego is smeared on the Rollers floor.  Derby girls are MACHINES!  This fresh meat skater bows to their awesomeness.  Angry eyebrows to anyone who says this isn’t a real sport.

 On a lighter note (no pun intended), I’ve lost some poundage (maybe ounce-age, but it’s something and I'll take it).    Who needs Florine…..Dial 1-800-3-A2DERBY.  If the workouts don’t shrink you, the desire to look hot in some sexy thigh highs ought to do the trick.

 Joking aside, I am loving this experience.  I am always on the look-out for new challenges.  They keep me moving forward when I want to curl up on the couch.  I’ve been told I’m crazy…..crazy to put in my own patio, crazy to build a pergola over it, crazy when I wanted to run a half marathon, crazy when I wanted to cycle from Traverse City to Chelsea….but all of these things I have accomplished.   This derby thing is new to me.   I feel like I’ve just been through sorority rush and now I’m a pledge.  Skills testing will be my initiation, but in the meanwhile I’m allowed to go to awesome parties (bouts), wear my letters (Dimes gear), listen to my pledge master (Kandy) and try to learn all my sisters’ names.

 As for my ego….no worries, Kandy gave it back at the end of practice with a “good work today”.  It’s deflated and has that original Eau de Derby scent, but its mine (at least until Wednesday).