*I wrote this before our Derby Names were due*

Every Wednesday I drive my Fresh Meat sister, Mantis*, to practice.  We tend to talk non-stop on the 30 minute drive because she is awesome and excitable and young, so we can talk about anything.  Even with a world full of topics we always end up at the same place, Derby names.  It seems from the first day, wherever two or more Fresh Meat gather . . . Derby names will be discussed.  Turn around toe stops may still intimidate us, but from what I gather, picking out a name scares the crap out of us.

Derby is really my first chance to test out the weird and slightly wild person who has been emerging in the last few years.  Originally I wanted to find a name to reflect that.  Something a little scandalous, that would cause my parents to shake their heads, and my mother-in-law to say “Oh my!”.   The tamest of that bunch was Ginny Skeezly, suggested by my twin Hermione Gank’ya.  Then came the realization.  In a few years my adorable, innocent, perfect, never ever going to kiss anyone but her parents, daughter would be old enough to ask why I have -Insert words I never want to hear out of her mouth- on the back of so many shirts.  It was a horrifying possibility, so I decided to find something PG.

Speaking of my daughter, naming her was probably one of the easiest things I have ever done.  I knew what name I wanted for a daughter since I was in middle school.  So why is picking a fake name for myself more difficult then choosing the given name for another human being!?!

What facet of my life should I pick inspiration from? Literature, football, sci-fi nerdom? It took a few weeks but inspiration struck!  My Little Pwnie.  I was inlove, it was perfect, and it was taken.  All Derby names are listed on Twoevils.org and there my name already was.  Back  to hanging out with the other Fresh Meat at bouts and hashing and rehashing name ideas until we were just more unsure then before.

And here we are now, our 1st, 2nd and 3d choices for names are due on the 19th of this month.  And after all those months trying to come up with cool puns I have a name to submit.  In reality there was never any other Derby name for me but this.  The moment Hermi and I discovered her red helmet fit me better and my blue helmet fit her better and we traded, my name has been fated.  When way back at a recruiting meet-up, to differentiate between our shared names, Hermi suggested people call me Crannberry; I’ve only ever had one possible Derby name.  Crannberry.  I tried to deny it for  months.  Its not a silly pun or a sly innuendo.  Its me though.  There is a reason I’m called Crannberry, its not very interesting, but I’ll write about it later.  With no other similar names registered its pretty much a sure thing.  In the end my name wont reflect some wild alter-derby-ego, its just me.  But I’m terrible at being anything but me!

* Mantis isn’t her real name, but until Fresh Meat gets their Derby names I’m just going to refer to people by the most interesting sticker on their helmet.